To TLU : Where has the time gone?

So its been a blur, first semester of my college career will be over in a few weeks. Its kinda sad but great too.  I can't say I survied yet until final exams are over, but for now I am proud to say that i'm holding on.  I may not miss the stress over Christmas break , but I will probably miss the campus a lot.  I've learned so much in such a short time - its great to know what a real education can provide. High school was limited, but here the sky is the limit, especially when you get to choose your classes with teachers that for the most part really want to be involved in your education if you let them. I love the fact that it makes this campus stand out.. It still surprises me when my friends tell me how cold and unhelpful most of their professors are.  Ive takn a few pictures, and I plan on taking  more if possible. I wanted to share them so here they are:

This picture made Hahn look really eerie with that glow at the top, but pretty cool

This is from when my family first dropped me off and of course my two clowns who are as thick as thieves ( my sister and cousin) had to play with my mirror (thanks guys)

This wasn't here at school  but this is the greatest man on the planet.  This was taken after  we moved my things in and went out to eat. He is my uncle, my pastor, but also the funniest person. As you can tell he loves cake.

The funny thing is ,this is still on my fridge. I cannot erase it because the two silly cousins above and another cousin who is a senior in high school wrote this for me.  My favorite comments are the two in red and one in black.  They say "Can I borrow some money"(written by daniel), "Aaron scares me"(written by sister debbie), and "NO DUDES"(written by Aaron)

This is from the day Kaitlen gave a lesson in class. Ithought our tower looked pretty awesome. (That is brandi's leg if your curious)

This is from the 16th of September , it made me homesick a bit, I never realized how much I would miss eating mexican food every day

This is my favorite building here and I have no idea why

 This is my favorite spot here, when classes are going on or when most people are done with classes I find this to be the most relaxing, calm place

 This is my sister and I during Family Week. I don't know why I am squinting so much, I don't think the sun was even in my eyes.

  This is my mom and grandma, and I



Theology Fascinates Me From Time to Time

Sorry about not posting last week, but I honestly had nothing to talk about. 

After listening to lectures in Intro to Theology all semester I think I've discovered its major message. I really hope that my ephiphany isnt wrong because that would feel horrible, but I will explain my theory anyway. I have been used to today's Christian message that God accepts every one no matter who they are are where they come from. Ive never really thought much about a time when that wan't necessarily the case. In the beginning God was the creator of all, Adam, Eve, and every other living thing in the world was under his care.  After  the first man and woman ate the forbidden fruit, it was just a  downward spiral until Noah and his family were actually the last humans who didn't tear themselves away from God. Some time after the flood - God created the Abrahamic Covenant with Abraham and his descendants who would later be known as the nation Israel. When Israel was delivered from Egypt, God created the Sinai Covenant to give them laws. It all started to get worse again as the people kept breaking the laws adn distancing themselves from God - especially when they asked for a king. King David and his son Solomon marked Israel and its peak and last days of glory. However, their actions led to Israel becoming almost beyond repair. It probably seemed to the world that the people who "claimed" to have a special relationship with the one true God was false. Until they recieved prophecies of what later they would come to think of as prophecies of the coming of the "Suffering Servant" or "Messiah" who would restore Israel to its rightful place. Which Christians believe was fufilled by Jesus - his birth, life, death, and resurrection.  I think the message is that the history of humanity has been to right the wrong of Adam and Eve. Israel was an example to humanity of the right and wrong ways you could act on earth.  Later the disciples and especially Paul the Apostole spread the news of the special relationship becoming universal but also including individual relationships. It has lead to the common messeage today - it doesnt matter who you are are where you come from; your entitled to a special relationship with God, but its up to you to accept it.

Food, Food, and More Food

This past week I haven't been able to escape food. After reading "In Defense of Food" , I started looking at what I ate a little diffrently. After listening to Paul Roberts on Wednesday and John Besh on Friday most of my thoughts throughout the weekend were about food, what is in it, and how it is made.  I think all the talk about proccessed food is what caused me to turn down McDonalds. I have neve really been a fan of the place but, i don't think i will ever eat that food again.  Everything I could remember I talked about with family as soon as I got home. They brought up similar questions or points adressed in the speeches and I gave them the answers I could remember .  On the way here my uncle and I were still talking about processed food. It's nice that classes give me topics to talk about with others. When conversations seem almost dead, I love that I have something to save myself and whoever I am talking with from many an uncomfortable silence.

Why Must Composition Exist

Im an English Major, which I think most people know by now. However, it seems as if the rollercoaster that is my compostion class has not only gone down the tracks, but its fallen off, crashed, and burned. It may just be the class I dislike . I don't have  a favorite class , but I don't really dislike the others either. So to say I dislike it is a big statement.  In high school, english was the only class that fired me up. My entire soul went into those papers, but now its like I'm just fufilling a requirement. My passion seems to be trapped inside myself. Without a channel to pour it into ,  there is nothing academically that makes me happy nowadays.  That tends to stress me out which is not having a good effect on the rest of my classes or my stress level. Then again, all I ever seem to think about recently is my stress level. It could be due to psychology and the health chapter  which says that stress can cause chronic diseases. I really hate being stressed and I don't want my health to plunge to the earth so I have to figure out something soon. The silver lining is that the semester will be over in less than two months. However, I still have Composition II; my greatest wish is that it will be the inspiring class I long for right now.

Compositon Finally Blew My Mind

I love writing, but my composition class seemed to get into a bit of routine that was boring me greatly.  Vocabulary quizzes, assign the essay,  talk about it,  vocabulary quizzes, rough draft, vocabulary quizzes, final draft, and oh yeah vocabulary quizzes.  I was thinking that it may be one of the most unmotivating courses I had ever taken, until Friday.  The class started out like any typical lesson. Then the professor moved on and said that he would assign some homework. "Don't worry, this is fun homework". Most of the class agreed outloud, "There was no such thing" and that his statement was an "oximoron".  He showed us a painting online called "The Ambassadors".  He explained a little of what was in the painting. Pointing out things we may not notice if we don't observe it carefully. For the most part, he wanted us to discuss the things we saw. Then he said he wanted us to type up an email explaining what message or meaning the artist was trying to get across. What was the author trying to say to anyone who saw the painting.  At first glance you see two differently dressed guys. They stand relaxed against a shelf which oddly enough has many objects cluttering it. For those who look but never necessarily see the painting may wonder why its so special.  It has a powerful message, which leaves me wondering how many more paintings have hidden meanings that have been overlooked.

I may not be right but here is what I submitted to my professor what I thought it meant:

   Two men stand in relaxed positon on a shelves with many objects. The man on the left appears pompus and wealthy in his extravagant clothes. While the man on the right appears more reserved, in fact he looks like a clergman. I believe they could be considered ambassadors of who the majority of people were in that time period. Either devoutly religous or secular and more intrested in the luxuries of life. The botom shelf has things associated with music, travel, and exploration. Yet, if its on the bottom shelf it could be interpreted that it has been left there to be forgotten. What you notice more than the other objects is what rests on the top shelf. Because it is placed on top of a very beautiful rug, it catches you attention. The artist could have done this because he wanted it to catch your attention before the bottom shelf in order to emphasize its importance.

         On the top shelf are things assoctiated with astronomy. Both shelves have globes but the one on the bottom is an actual map; the one on top is adorned with constilations. It could be infered that the world once focused on travel but now shifts its focus on the astronomy, which could also be infered as everything in and beyond the heavens. However, not necessarily focus on the heavens in relation to religon. You really have to study the painting in order to notice the crucifix behind the curtain on the top left. Its almost completely covered, like its something to be hidden. These ambassadors - the representatives of people are shifting their focus from one interest to another. All the while placing religous interests aside and hidden away. 

        The skewed object in the center of the floor of the painting is a skull; they are usually associated wih death. I believe it is there to symbolize that the objects that associate with the interests of the people are the cause of the death of religon. These objects placed in the center are one of the main focuses of the painting. They are also the main focus of the people which causes them to forget their focus on religon.

If you would like to see the painting, here is the link

"The Ambassador"

Later I  will post the real meaning which will be given to us on Monday.

Sadly The Break Was Useless

Okay so its monday and I'm usually sleepy on mondays but, never this exhausted and brain - dead. I went home early afternoon on Wedensday expecting to have fun with the family. Yes, Idreaded the essay I had to start and finish but I had 4 days!?? Well when I got home I actually had to chores to do and dinner to cook almost everyday.  Friday night I had to make a powerpoint for mother of  pictures she's taken the last hundred years.  Also baby my sister  who's fifteen but still "the baby of the family". Saturday I had to go to the bank to fix a few problems - it took forever. Then I had to stay for the family gathering that started about four hours later than planned. The only time I had to work on my essay was between 10pm and however long I managedto stay up that night. Sunday, I didn't get to come back to campus  until 6pm.  I knew I had to be home, but sometimes family can be a bit more tiring then school. There used to telling you what to do. So when it comes time for you to visit they demand  you follow their schedule. I love my family but they should understand that  I dont livethere anymore. I have bigger responsibilities now that will definetly make or break my future. So now hear I am on Monday - brain dead and as useful as a pencil without an eraser.

Our Midterm

At first glance the midterm seemed time consuming but managable. On Wednesday, I started working on it. I was right that it was time consuming but, managable? I don't think I could say it was that easy. I looked at my notes over and it seemed that I was staring at a black hole. My mind was working against me; it wouldn't help me make connections between what I wanted to say and the text. By Friday afternoon things looked up a bit but I still only had one question completed and the rest sort of planned out. The great yet funny thing was, I utilized the dialogue method to share ideas with Myeshia Friday night. Soon we found that our conversation had helped us add more to what we had or something we were missing. In the end I loved it. A good writing challange, especially analyzing text makes me feel alive. Though at times it can make me feel like the dumbest person alive; when I finally get an idea and others that pop from that I can smile. The only bad thing is, if I don't type or write it as soon as I think it, its gone. While a new idea springs out to take its place faster than you can say TLU.

Saturday afternoon we continued discussing and helping each other, we practically got everything done. All I had left to do was polish it all up; my answers seem to be the best of my ability, but there is always the fear of "are they good enough?". I'm not a hundred percent anxious but I wonder what Professor Barry will think as she reads my answers. Actually I'm a bit more curious at what everyone else wrote. I really liked Myeshia's ideas because they were so different than mine, and I know everyone else has at least one just like that. My only regret is that it seems like I cannot find any lyrics that help with my "message". Well above all I hope for the best and if not please, Professor Barry, don't tell me how bad it was.

Banking and Dialogue Method?

The dialogue method verses the banking method? I don't think I could choose which way I would prefer learning, because I feel they are both necessary in learning.  After listening to the discussion in class this past week I am actually thinking about it today. The way I see it, the dialogue method is a way for the teacher and student to be open-minded yet learning from each other. Without communication the student does not truly learn. The banking method is simply the teacher depositing ideas and strategies into the student's mind. Then they expect the student to just regurgitate everything that has been taught. The dialogue method may seem to be the better way to conduct a classroom environment, but for some areas of learning there seems to be no other way. Take the core subjects for example; the height of potential for a student in English would be limited by the banking method. How can you expect someone to analyze text for themselves if you close their minds? Closing their minds by not conversing with the students to open the door of new ideas that even the teacher wouldn't have thought of because interpretations of text and writing are individualistic.  Yet, for math and history I believe the dialogue method wouldn't make much of a difference.  Some math problems could be solved a few different ways.  Ultimately you stick to the way you were first taught to solve it. History is irrefutable; you have dates, places, people all combined into a never ending story that you have to remember.  Using the dialogue method, as I see it would not really benefit the students, nor would it harm them. Both of these combined in your education could give you the benefit of "both worlds". Shaping the way of learning for the better.

College Student Life Lesson #1

One of the funniest events happened to me this week. Okay let me set up the scenario.  Obviously I was there.  But, there was also a monster drink they I decided to drink at 9pm on thursday. For those of you that has tried one of these, you're probably laughing at me right now.  If you haven't let me explain. I've always heard that monsters give you the biggest caffine rush of your life.  The hour before I was already half asleep and needed something that would keep me up. So I thought why not try one now. Oh, how naive I was. I expected the normal hyper side effects, the laughter that usually acompanies my caffine rush, and my mind going a hundred miles per hour.  Around midnight I tried to sleep, by 3am I turned on my ipod expecting to sleep with the music.  Before I knew it, it was 6am and I hadn't even slept. I got up to do more homework and before I knew it I had one hour to get ready for my first class.  In the middle of compostion the lack of sleep hit me. When class was over I ran to get a gallon of coffee and realized I had theology left and a test at at 3 pm.

At 4:30 I reflected back on the day. Most of the time I was oblivious to my surroundings. Trying to focus on the lecture and writing down notes as coherently as possible. I thought I could finally go to bed but my roomate made me eat dinner. Which I'm glad I did because until I smelled the food I had no idea I was hungry. Later my mom decided to show up and spend time with me until 8 pm. ( I never even told her because I wanted her here and because I'd get in so much trouble. So now that she's 40 miles away and can only yell over the phone, "Hi mom, the constant laughter wasn't because I ate too much sugar - it was sleep deprevation.")  

"So you slept as soon as you got back, right?". Actually no, my friends called and made me use my webcam so all of us could talk and see each others faces for the first time in two months. I begged to be allowed to sleep but they were merciless. (Honestly I sacrificed sleep for my happiness, I love them to death.) So as my face rested on my keyboard they showed pity and let me sleep around 10pm. Thus ending with 39 hours without sleep.

So my college rule # 1 for now :
                     Never , ever, drink a monster before 10 am.  Unless it's the weekend

My proposal:
                   There should be a label on it saying - Caution! Will keep you awake for 12 hours.

Silver lining: 
                   I now have a funny story to tell my kids one day about college.

My Lips Are Sealed

I sit in class and never say a thing.  My questions are never asked, and comments never spoken. Even if I am just in a group during Freshmen Experience, it’s very difficult for me to say anything.  The weird thing is when I get called on my mine goes blank, it’s like all of my thoughts were never there. Close friends that I have now, tell me that they used to think I was extremely anti-social. They never even thought that I liked to hang out with anyone from school. Translation - "I thought you were a snob". In reality, I've just always been quiet when I'm around people I don't normally talk to.  When I get placed in groups in any class, it’s always the same, my mouth is locked shut.  Like today, we were placed in groups of four and we had to determine the key points Socrates was trying to make and figure out its significance. The other three in my group started discussing while my eyes stared at the paper. Ideas popped up in my head whenever they made a comment but I just couldn't talk. It's like someone was holding my vocal cords shut. I wanted to contribute but my voice failed me.


I am happy to sit and listen to what everyone has to say or even hear the teacher speak all hour long. As long as no one expects me to talk that is. I understand that I have to get over it. I'm already in college, and I can't expect employers to just understand. But, believe me it's going to take a lot of work. The only thing that saves me is that when I write my ideas can actually come alive, and freely leave their prison (my mind).  In writing I am courageous and my mind spills onto the page like there is no tomorrow. I sincerely hope that I can change but for now I'm glad that when it comes to expressing myself that I am not completely limited.

College Life? Amazing or Horrible?

The main concern most people have when first coming to college is whether or not they will even survive. 

I only have two classes a day? Great!  But I have to read how many pages before we meet next time? You want me to write  that paper by when!? That test is how big of a perentage of my grade?

Honestly situations like that tend to creep up and stress us out every now and then. More so for others but the feelings are mutual. High school may have had the same type of assignments but, until I came here I never realized how much I was babied. Of course we did our work typically on our own. However, it took me awhile to realize that our  shadows weren't actually ours. They were called teachers.

"Remember you have this due!" , "Your  not doing well this month, you need to make up those assignments", "Mr.(Mrs.) (Name)!, you were absent yesterday, here is everything you missed"

Actually I am a bit happy that it doesn't happen anymore. That last semester of high school I was trying to crawl away from it all to catch a breath. In their own way, I understood that they cared. Then again, we were all at least seventeen.  It was actually just a few months ago. Even though it feels like years. I actually wish they would have seen us the way they do here - adults.

Being torn away from my mother's grasp, even though they had to tear her away from me,  was the best thing that could have happened. I have learned so much in these few weeks that are begining to mold me. How to actually take responsibility for everything you thought was easy. So in summation, I just want to say that I love TLU!